After writing his last response to the guy who threatened to fight him, Uncle Willie thought he might get a reply by email (he really doesn’t have nay idea how this stuff works) and went and looked in his old AOL email inbox to see if the guy was coming to fight him or not. When we checked the Sent Mail box we found this reply to a spam message and thought we should share it.
“Dear fuckheads,
I have addressed your email point by point. Please enjoy reading my reply and if you send me this shit again I will come to your house and throw a beer bottle through your fucking window.
*Get rock hard erections in 20 minutes even when you drink alcohol.
That’s the last God damned thing I need. Who the hell told you to send me this shit? Was it that same son of a bitch who calls my phone at dinner time and tries to sell me timeshares? I’ll kill that motherfucker! Why the hell would I want a hard on 20 minutes after I drink alcohol? If I start taking your pills I’m gonna be the laughing stock of the neighborhood within a week! I can hear it now -
“Hey there goes Willie. He must have started drinking early cause he’s already walking home with a raging boner and it’s only 6:30″
* World’s only herbal pill that corrects erectile dysfunction, strengthens erections and enhances libido – Make her beg you for more.
This ain’t the world’s only herbal pill that brags about this same shit. I got thirty other ones in my email that says the same thing. And why would she beg me for more? I ain’t never heard a woman say “I just can’t enough of his strong erections and enhanced libido.” If them pills enhanced my wallet then I might hear some ladies begging.
* It’s the only 100% natural sex pill proven safe for diabetic patients and has no cardiovascular or physical side effects. Get ready for HOT, DIRTY ACTION.
I ain’t diabetic, and I worked for a living for thirty years and now that I’m retired I try and avoid HOT and DIRTY at all costs. I prefer clean, cool and comfortable. Without a hard on.
* ViSwiss is the only 100% dependable herbal formula that works even with alcohol. Enjoy pleasurable sex beyond imagination or have your money back.
I already have my money, and I don’t need no pills that give me a boner every time I drink. Hell some days I don’t do nothin’ but drink! I don’t need to be sittin’ on the porch with a brewski and a boner all God damned afternoon.
* Fulfill your partner’s sexual fantasies with a harder, longer and straightened rod! Instantly make her QUEEN OF MULTIPLE ORGASMS.
Woah. Wait a minute. Straighten my rod? Now how the hell did you motherfuckers know I got a little curve to the left? That’s some serious invasion of privacy. We gonna have a problem if you don’t quit looking in to how straight my rod is. That ain’t no one’s business.
* Works in 20 minutes – Experience unimaginable arousal and sexual endurance like a REAL PORN STAR.
I can be a porn star? You mean like I can do blow all day and die of AIDS after I go broke and suck cocks for a few years in alleys? Sign me up for that shit! If I don’t end up giving hand jobs in the park like a REAL PORN STAR do I get my money back?
Now listen up you assholes. Stop looking at the curvature of my rod and bothering me about this bullshit or I’ll have my nephews look you up on their internets and find out where you live. Then I’ll get some of your pills and get me a good hard straight rod and fuck yer cat with it. Are we clear that I don’t want no more of these bullshit emails?
July 28th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
Genius