Welcome to WastedWillie.com, home of Wasted Willie (our uncle, William Borgess) and Wasted Willie’s Offensive T-Shirts which we sell to try and pay off Uncle Willie’s court costs and fines. You see Uncle Willie drinks a bit. Actually Uncle Willie drinks a lot. We hear that he’s mean when he’s sober just like he is when he’s drinking, but we haven’t ever seen him sober so we can’t know whether that’s true or not. And while Uncle Willie is a miserable bastard, he’s also hilarious, and he’s our blood, so we’re trying to help him out.

Between Willie’s crazy stories and the t-shirt sales, we hope to get him out of debt and pay off his debts to the court by the end of the summer. Let’s start with the stories. To the best of our knowledge most of these things actually happened. We’ve seen Uncle Willie hit people with his cane and let our cousin Stephen go around stomping on people’s feet, and the man is definitely a little ways off his rocker if you know what we mean. While we don’t know all these stories are true, and a few of them probably aren’t exactly on the level, but if they make people laugh and they help get his court costs paid off, then we don’t really care one way or another if every fact is exact.

And let’s talk about these offensive t shirts that Willie comes up with. You see my brother Adam is a screen printer, and when we were trying to figure out a way to pay for Willie’s court costs last winter we asked him if he had any ideas. We were in the basement and Adam was printing up some shirts and Willie was really wasted.

“Why don’t you make some shirts that say ‘Hi, my name is shithead’ on them so I can wear it around and ask people for a dollar like a god-damn shit head beggar,” he said. “And make one that says ‘You ain’t good lookin’ but I’m drunk enough to fuck ya!” and he roared with laughter. “I’ll wear it for that crazy Puerto Rican broad next door”.

We thought those sounded like damn funny shirts, though Uncle Willie was quickly passed out on the concrete floor, so we didn’t get a chance to tell him that. When we showed him the hilarious shirts, he didn’t remember asking for them, but he thought they were great, and proudly wore the shirt announcing his name (shithead) for two days around the neighborhood.

So, by now you’ve figured out that Willie is quite a character. He provides the shirt ideas, mostly when he’s drunk, and he writes the blogs with a client I set up on a desktop computer in his living room. All he has to do is double click a program and write in the white box that pops up. I set up his cell phone to text right to twitter as well, which shoots the feed over to myspace and facebook so we can share this character with everybody. Now the least tech savvy guy I know has a blog that feeds all over the place and a thriving online business and he has no idea how any of it works.

We love Uncle Willie and his hilarious drunken exploits, and we think he’s one hell of a character so we’re happy that we have found a way to share him with the world. We hope you enjoy him as much as we do and if you enjoy the site, stop by and buy yourself a “tee shirt” as Willie calls them. You can help us out by telling your friends about us too. If we can make some money from selling funny shirts and from donations we can get him to do some video for us too and you can really see what a great character our Uncle Willie really is.